Daily Thoughts, Mental Health

why I’ve gained weight so easily in Taiwan #zerotohero

As you can see, these are the documentation of my food in Taiwan. It was only a few of many photos in my archives. Most of the time I always take photos of my food before eating it, so as you can imagine my phone gallery is full of food 🍱🥤🍦, besides my selfies and drawings.

I have to admit that I’m too easily attracted to food 😂 That’s my problem to have such weak mind to anything delicious. And basically I like and not afraid to try new things -weird one is also acceptable-. In addition, I also have the access to these food since two years ago when I started to move in to Taipei to pursue master degree. The worst problem is I wasn’t afraid to be fat at all (wrong way of thinking due to some reasons), but now I regret it (really🙃). Right now, I’m afraid to be fat (even though I still am), so this year I decided to change. 2021 is my turning point! I have started to get out of my comfort zone, letting go some things that I hold too long (maybe I will tell about this later?) was one initial step of my life-changing.

Back to topic, actually to be honest, this topic is one of my insecurities. In real life situation, I kinda avoid this topic to talk about with people around me, except with some people I really trust, so if I ever raised this topic with you, be proud, because you are one of people that I trust enough 🙂

Long story short, since the first time I arrived in Taiwan, I’ve gained A LOT OF kilos. To be exact, I’ve gained (actually I am hesitant to mention it😶, but here you go😝) 13 kgs from the lowest to the highest weight I’ve ever been, only in period of about one and half year. Yes, it was a lot. There were many reasons, of course, but to be easy it was because of two main reasons: environment and constant stress in my life. However, I don’t want to blame anyone instead of me myself. Less motivation and lack of right way of thinking affect my habit and there was no people to “wake me up” until one day I wake up to discontentment feeling of my life. There were some signs from my body that I always dismissed all the time. I didn’t hear myself enough. Eventually, there’s no need to regret, since it’s already happened and I’ve already moved on.

Now it’s the time to get up and do well because everyday is a new day~ I am proud of myself for these several months for taking action into reality, though it’s still halfway through but definitely the progress is there! My body gave signs of getting fitter each day. The thing that I still have to improve is my sleeping schedule, since my work as architecture designer sometimes (most of the time, actually 🙂) required to be overtime, it’s kind of difficult for me to have enough sleep.

After all, I have this understanding of myself that I don’t like to rush and to be rushed about anything in life. So, slowly but surely, I’m going towards my goal to be my better self and have brighter future. 🌞

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Daily Thoughts, Mental Health

languishing: 2021 theme emotion

“Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.”

Adam Grant – The New York Times

This pandemic situation is not easy for all of us. Sometimes we feel like doing monotonous life all the time and this indescribable void feeling strikes us. The uncomfortable feeling of not achieving something, doing mundane things in daily basis. It’s not burnout (yet), but somehow we just feel empty or aimless. Actually there’s this term for that feeling: languishing. It is in-between state where you’re not depressed but not feeling happy either.

Have you ever staying up until late to do something else other than sleeping? Even though you already feels very sleepy. I think recently I’ve done it too many times. Sacrificing my sleep time in order to reclaim the freedom of my free time in day time, it’s sometimes just drawing or watching or scrolling through social media. Feeling “productive” if I could against my nature of having break. Considered sleeping is unproductive and feeling guilty about it.

There’s actually this Chinese expression that can correspond with this circumstance. It is 報復性熬夜 ‘bàofùxìng áoyè’ – or ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’. The phrase, which literally translated as ‘retaliatory staying up late’.

Then, what’s the cure for this languishing thing? How to avoid it so it wouldn’t worsen to be depression? At least, it is good that we’ve given a name to this condition, so people aware and conscious about it. According to The New York Times, “flow” state can be the antidote to languishing. Enter the “flow” state where your concept of time, place, even self melts away. To maintain the pre-pandemic happiness, we have to be more immersed to our projects. Focusing your mind on task on hand, so the other things become insignificant for awhile. Give yourself some specific uninterrupted time.

I just remember this phrase from somewhere. When your body moves, your mind tends to be more passive. While your body don’t move, your mind becomes more active and then the overthinking loops happen. So, doing some physical activity can be very helpful, too.

Other suggestion is to focus on small goals. I have this little note for myself in the mirror written “Make your first small step today 👣”. As I grew older, I become more understand of my pattern habit. Most of the time I struggled to make action into reality is because my to-do-list is too overwhelming. I aimed something so big, like for example, making this blog, it’s already on my to-do-list since years ago. But now, I tried different approach to make my goals smaller and aimed for the nearest step that I can do. I changed my to-do-list become more specific, such as “write about “xxx” and just press the publish button, don’t worry, you can edit it anytime.” And here you go, I’m still very doubtful with my writing and what I want to do exactly with this thing. However, I just try to push myself to really doing something real, and not just think about it only.

We all have to start somewhere, and doing something better than nothing at all. Start small so you don’t discouraged and give up. Remember it is all about consistency.

– Khloe Kardashian

Take control of yourself. Challenge and push yourself a little bit more. You don’t have to do the important work, just choosing to do things that meaningful to you, it’s enough. Small yet meaningful. So, what matters to you most?

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Mental Health

daily habits to prevent depression

This morning while doing my daily job as usual, I decided to listen to Youtube recommendation on my phone. Using wireless earphone, it is very convenient to do multi-tasking. My eyes focus on computer while my ears focus on listening.

It was only one click from my phone notification. I’m glad to choose these videos because those were quite useful for me, especially for this time. During this pandemic, I felt a bit overwhelmed with the situation and especially it is because my mind always overthinks everything that actually no need to be overthink 🙂

So yeah, I think I need to have positive habits to keep me sane. Here’s the first video some daily habits to prevent depression:

➼ morning routine: express gratitude or meditation, avoid social media when you wake up

➼ see social media in lunch time

➼ have enough night sleep (I’m still struggling to do this, only had 4 to 5 sleeping hours on weekday recently 😥 I know it’s not healthy, but yeah…)

➼ being clean and get dress

➼ take vitamin

➼ exercise (very agree, even though I only started doing exercise these several past months, but it really helps to improve my mental health!)

➼ being outside: get sun or wind~ or open your windows if the condition don’t allow you to be outside in this pandemic situation

➼ evening routine: pray or journaling or just write out your feeling or thoughts (recently just started doing bullet journaling again after many years of only thinking about it…)

➼ self-care

➼ have social interactions, human needs it 🙂 (haha agree on this one, but sometimes the reality is not that easy😂)

Source: Daily Routine To Fight Off Depression – Psych2Go

https://youtu.be/Y9A5wuTtblw

And here’s the second video about some small yet life-changing things you can do to improve your daily life.

7 Small Changes to Improving Your Life

➼ put your phone on silent & face down

➼ put your alarm opposite of your bed (have been doing this for some time and it works!)

➼ carry a water bottle always (eight cups a day)

➼ allow yourself to say “no” to others

➼ share your ideas or write down your thoughts (yes, journaling can be very helpful)

➼ replace bad thoughts with good ones by acknowledging it first

➼ think before you react (maybe I’m too good at this 😂, since I always think too much before really express myself)

Source: 7 Small Changes That Will Improve Your Life – Psych2Go

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